Not remorseful

I have a real bad temper and serious attitude problem and I hate to repeat myself more than 3 times and I hate to wait for people more then 15mins and I hate people to interrupt my sleep especially CALLS and I hate people goes against me and I hate it when things doesn’t go my way and I hate minahs (feel like punching their face) and I hate crowds and I hate to get stared at (wtf?) and I hate talkative taxi driver and I hate AH LIANS.

WOW, sounds really horrible yea whatever going to town time check 5.52 8 more mins i’m knocking off even though i’m late for an hour today don’t care.

OH i love to say ‘do i look like i care/give a damn?’ (Y)

DUMB POST.

oh angie ting you gone with the wind is it? i’m perfectly fine don’t worry, MEET ME! sorry was busy with work, i reply your sms later.

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I like ke$ha she’s a fbitch

Overloading-whelming things happened past weeks, feels like a bitch. Oh yea, who cares. Imma such a bitch seriously, ask around -  I make sure you fking lost, challenge me.

I don’t like losing, and neither do I like admitting defeated. It’s a all or nothing, it has always been. Egoistic, yes I am – it’s bad I know.
Y’all know I’m actually a really nice person I swear – but provided you don’t provoked me and leave a bad impression.

Some really weird and childish people coming knocking at my door; it’s okay. I’m adult now. I don’t give two fcuk.

Criminating

Instead of being happy and proud that I’ve grown up, get into the society and start a new life, a new job, like what a normal grad would do, you criminate me because I inked a body that was created by you. Does that make you feel disgraceful and in shame?

What have I done? Is getting inked a crime? It was a choice that I get to choose upon my age of being an adult, my rights and my freedom. I did not do anything that brought shame to the family have I? I studied 10 years of my life and got into an art academy, to pursue my passion and interest – something that you said I might regret. But I did not. It might be a moment of impulse to you, something that I again will regret when I get old. Then wouldn’t I be missing out too much things in life if I have to think about each and everything whether I might or might not regret in the future?

It’s not like I’ve gotten a full arm, back full of tattoos. It’s a word, a sentence that means a lot to me. I want to remember why I got them on me, I want to remember what is the reason for me doing so, I merely want to keep these memories with me forever.

I might be the most rebellious one in the family but I am not guilty of what I’ve done. I’ve lived upright and true, I know what I want and what is right. You asked me what kind of friends I hang out outside, they might not be the top scholar, or the smart genius back in school, but I’m definitely sure they have lived righteously.

You as a mother, you failed to take me for who I am, you failed to understand me and I’m not even sure if you know me. In a split second it seems like we are strangers.

If I were to tell you tattoo-ing is a form of art you will smack right into my face. But face it, this is not your old fashion world anymore old lady. You’ve enter a digital era and tattoo-ing? It’s nothing.

Fuck to cny, you seriously think I give a damn, just giving you some face to save your ass. I shall stay at home then. And I too know that those mf-ing relatives like to take chance to bring me down (like to compare this that everything), maybe they fking jealous that i’m prettier, taller, slimmer and smarter then their children. fk off and open your mind. If not stay at home and cry.

CNY

I hate new year, specially Chinese New Year – it’s meaningless. Need to do spring cleaning, need to decoration the house, clear the junks. But the best part it still the goodies. *show teeth with Bling*

Anyway, I just cleared like whole pile of clothing out that almost could cost 50% of where all my moolahs went. Alot of these are tops that I had or had not wore for more then twice or even to none. Bought on impulse. :/ I felt the pinch, really. Like that pair of Roxy shorts which i bought few years back, wore like less than 10 times? Cost me around 80 bucks. I knowwwwwwwwww, wasted. Because I grew a little fleshy, its a size 6 anyway, i’m a size 8 now. Couldn’t even buckle up. And some branded tees, fcuk, AX, Guess – all size 6 or XS. Loads of topshop singlet, Zara tees, and flesh imp. The most wasted ones are my jeans – they’re too big. I want to go Levis later to exchange them for 50$! hehehe.

Actually I was thinking of selling it off, but then I was really lazy and I don’t know who to approach to help, and I guess those clothing will still need to be piled at one corner waiting for interested buyers, troublesome eh. So I decided to fk it and be wiser next time. Got freaking nag by my mum, must think before buying!

But seriously, I cannot control if I get fatter right. Cannot ask me to go back to size 6 what, SIAO.

I haven’t clean up my room, super dusty, but confirm not as dusty as michy’s room – her’s is the ultimate dust garbage room. Bloody dust accumulate like clouds – I’M SERIOUS!

Want to get alot of stuff, like really need to save up and stop cabbing. Patiently waiting to get my iphone, then I wanna change my watch! Even though I really love mine right now, but I saw one the other day and I swear it was love at first sight, but the watch face is too big, doesn’t fit my wrist luh fk. It was a french connection, but all their watches have fking big clock face but super chio. Oh ya there’s one thing about me, I am very willing to spend money on my watch because once I wear it I don’t change – that’s why I reckon it’s a good investment. Because the cheap ones always give you problems after a month or two. Mmm, or should I stick to Dkny instead?

Want to get a camera too, but I think that can wait.

I hate CNY!

*How to hide tattoos? If not i’m dead for new year. But I don’t really give a damn luh seriously, my parents do. Strict and restricted families SUCKS. Can be abit more open-minded anot people?

PHUKET HAVING ONE FOR ONE PROMOTION! MADNESS! I WANT TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Felt

really sad. Really really terribly sad. Lies and betrayal, came like stabs. They never end.
How does it feel, when you told a lie, but in order to cover up this lie, you had to say 10 more lies. How do you feel, when you looked into my eye, desperately and confidently want to save yourself.

How do I feel, when I found out about the truth, about your betrayal. You could take me for granted once, but there’s not gonna be a 2nd time. I might not be clever, but I’m never dumb.

Since you’re brave enough for that, you will be brave enough to receive the ending. Don’t come crying to me, doesn’t help one bit.

JIA YOU HILMAN HANIF!

We will always be there for each other

“at some point of our life, things dont go well and we feel as though god is playing a prank on us. but if we really do think about it, it’s all these obstacles that force us to grow up, to become the person we are now.” – extracted from Jolynn

ALONE

from now on.

begging is useless.

Bitter sweet

Till the moment you realize that the dew has been drained, and nothing is left from within, just the raw and afflicted ocular from the aftermath. One will know from that instant everything is going to change.

Vengeance is silly. Sad, but revenge is the sweetest remedy. Retaliation for another’s act – Have a taste of your own medicine, it’s time to take them off the pedestal and because there is no humanity left in them, too much life and soul they have destroyed; repeatedly.

No, that’s foolish. Anyhow, the time will come when they realize that when their most precious possession is stolen or gone, for long. Gone for long is no difference to gone for good. So till then, good luck.

“Treat people how you want to be treated – This is life, not business”

Stray

I am so tired of everything, every shit thing. Feel like giving up everything, and continue to further my studies – a total cool excuse to get away from everything.
Nothing seems to be enough for me, I am always asking for more. Nothing makes me happy, even if there’s anything – happiness won’t last long. It is me or what? The strangest part is that I’ve never felt like these before? Like I’ve never been this unhappy with my life before.

Used to be quite contented with what I had, until recently, few months back, seems like my world just flip 360 and everything changed? Well its now 2010, what’s new? I have no new year resolutions, they are just crap. I think I need to do some brain storming and mind mapping on myself and my life and what I want to do and where do I want to go. Getting older each day, aging as time goes by. I can feel it! Even my mum’s been telling me, fk – need to do something about it. Need to start saving up, lots of things to pay every month now………… -  That’s new.

Can’t wait to go sentosa again! Can’t wait to go on Road trip next month! – provided everything goes according to plan.

Can’t wait to escape life and live in fantasy. – LIKE REALLLLLL

P/S.  i want to go shoppppping,, forever 21. No money, how? BUY TOTO! 4D ALSO.

Need some luck

J

On e way to meet J, sms-ing.

J: “I saw a friend, last time i very good with. But i don’t have her num, can’t msg her. She sitting oppo me but I wanna talk to her. How? lol”

Me: “hahah, stare at her”

J:”What the fuck, can don’t make me laugh alone like that, I very cool one leh, wear sunglass and nv smile, until I saw your sms.”

HAHHAHH!

Me: “Hahhaa, e only way t get her attention is to stare straight at her. Do it!”

J: ” She sitting down la. Then i also sitting down, got alot ppl in betw. Y dun i do an attention seeking action, so everyone in the cabin will stare at me. Gd?”

Me: “Scratch your armpit in a very big movement”

J: “Fuck u la. That one not enough. That one the most i’d get famous on utube.”

HAHAHAHHA!

Met up for Sentosa! Wanted to slack and get a tan but we want to get away from the crowds so we went into the beach resort. Yea, it’s just Us in there.

So the photo whoring starts now!

Head for dinner after tanning!

Then movie at Lido. ♥

SUNDAY!! Cycling at Ubin!
Lazy to type, photos will talk. More photos with michy. The routes were really crazy, it was up and down and up again. My legs almost gave way. And the best part, the reds came in the mid of cycling. WOO, fkkk.

Then dinner at Bedok, then home and out again for Daybreakers with J!